I have never been much or a murderer but I would gladly wear that veil if it means that I could suck the blood out of my roommate. Vengeance, hate, disgust … how can one person bring out so many emotions in me? whatz more funny is that I have seen her only once.. but she has made herself omnipresent (quite a competition for God).
My encounter with her happened much before I actually saw her in flesh and blood (which I plan to separate one day). We are four of us living in the house and the other two are very much sane..but this female has a bad case of ‘superiority complex’. I had heard about her tales from my sane roommates …how she ‘commands’ them to wash her dishes..how she bad mouths about all the roommates to the land owner..she was actually responsible for getting two girls out of the house! ‘we cant bear her anymore!’ was their reason..but I took no notice of it…I mean as long as she does not cross my way.. I don’t cross hers…simple.
But she did cross my way…I was sleeping away one Sunday after noon when I heard a rude knock on my door…and for the first time I see who this fourth person is…oh! So this is the female I heard so much about!..well if first impressions are supposed to be the best ones..she made a damned shitty impression! Her nose was flaring …her eyes were glowing…(how come she did not get a role in those scary English flicks, I wondered, she would have won an Oscar for sure). What had I done to offend the veritable princess?. “If you use the stove your supposed to pay” she said… no humility.. no ‘hi! I am one of your roomate’…or atleast… ‘hi! don’t bloody use my stove’… something to show that kindness does exist in this world… did she not see the movie Lage Raho Munnaibhai?.. what happened to all the Gandhigiri…it was more of Hitlergiri here… I was caught unaware so all I could mumble was a weak ‘ok’ (not that I am weak).
Well after that shock I was in for another one…so that I would never use her stove without paying…she actually hid the *burners! Hmmm….if only her snootiness could be channeled in a more constructive way…so till date she hides those burners…
And till date I am on a forced satyagraha…a hungry stomach is a devil’s workshop…one of these days I will get back to her with a bang! She wont even know what hit her…maybe those burners ..once I get my hands on them.
* it’s a thing that you put on the stove so that you can cook Not that you cant cook without it ,doing so would just bring the kitchen down (along with a you). So beware!
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