Thursday, April 12, 2007

A new start


I see everybody leaving and I feel a new life beginning. I feel as if I have come a long way from where I was. No more of the kiddish stunts no more of the girlie night outs. I seemed to have stepped into someone else shoes and I am not feeling comfortable at all.

But that is not the only thing bothering me. Today I saw so many leave and I am used to tearful farewell’s where each one wishes that if only they were together one more day, one more hour.. one more moment. The scene I saw was very different everybody seemed to be beaming ear to ear and I was taken aback because I know I would be doing the same too glad that I am out of this dreadful college.

So sad though that in these two years there were no bonds nurtured no feelings exchanged just a quiet acceptance that we were bought together by some cruel fate and for two years we might as well get ahead with it. And we did get ahead with it each one guarded themselves and never let anyone know they were vulnerable. The scene when I was a kid all through my teenage years was very different. Back then it was so easy to trust, so easy to make friends, so easy to enjoy life. In post graduation relationship were built with caution and out of necessity. Friendship had given way to diplomacy. Plain fun was replaced with cautious laughter. Everyone was so scared to expose themselves, be themselves trust somebody. Everything was so…fake.

I can’t blame anyone because as we grow older our stakes become higher. Before I could pass some comment and get away with it now any gossip I create or someone creates about me would nail my progress upward in the ‘corporate world’. As we grow older responsibility sneaks in and obviously after successfully facing many betrayals, many falls and many hardships the mind becomes conditioned to the surroundings.

After these two years I can say that we all have become much stronger to face the world. The mini ‘corporate world’ that we were exposed too gave us an idea that the world outside is nothing less. But its with a sign that I let go of this final leg of my education life. I gained a lot but lost much more than that.

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